"The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you."-Anonymous

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Musings


Would you wonder
where the jasmine had been
if you caught her
gentle scent on the wind?

Could you catch
handfuls of Autumn leaves
tumbling ,turning, gently
floating on a wish?

Should clouds fall
would they hide falling tears
as dreams lingered
in kaleidoscope chaos?

When the moon
casts shadows across her name
will sunlight bring hope
for a new tomorrow?

Do you seek
my brilliant colors?
Might I hear
your guiding voice?

Will we ever truly
know each other?
Dare we even dream
that we had a choice?



This piece was a collaboration with a truly wonderful person and amazing writer, who just happens to be a dear friend as well.
Thank you so much Isobelle.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Stars and Crickets



Fighting with the memories
living in the past
All the things I hoped to be
swept away so fast

Sitting in the cool night air
relaxing in the breeze
alone upon the fresh cut grass
beneath a somber tree

Lift a flower to the wind
one petal at a time
dealing with the mystery
why love can be so blind

So many stars and crickets
singing out to me
one sings songs of wisdom
the other, possibility

Time to lead the evil glow
away from this poor heart
be the man I used to know
before it fell apart

I'm done with the whispers
that tell me I am through
Forever I will miss her
sometimes, she'll miss me too

Today can't be forever
tomorrow will end soon
I won't be trapped in misery
I've way too much to do

So many stars and crickets
singing out to me
one sings songs of wisdom
the other, possibility

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MINE

Simple sounds resounding
echoes in a broken chamber
former lovers all but strangers

Passing in the light

Horror of tomorrow’s
hopes fading in the depths
of sorrow

Slipping from my sight

Simple smiles so reviled
while fortune claims her pound of flesh
Melancholy feeds at will
with a savage baited breath
frustration’s flight in shades of red
though surely wounded

I am not dead

She's failed to win

In a shattered vessel
who’s seen much better times

Despair dares to wail at me
assault me with her crimes

She can never take my love
for it is all that’s ever truly
Mine
.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Not Quite Over

As I sit alone
no longer saddened
by my fate
Simply tired
drained, somber, and confused
I think of you....

All the things, we could have been
the things we both became
leave me wondering
What should I do?
I wonder....
Do you wonder too?

Helpless, hopeless
lost in doubt
hurt and still yet
healing
controlled by my own
feelings..
and yet somehow...
(I guess I'm dealing)

Talk to the stars
listen to the moon
waiting for the sign
that should come soon
so appealing
The thought of
letting you go


I hope for a goal
and pray for a sign
looking to the day
that I might find
another heart
To take your place...

Still there's the moment
deep in the night
I've just gone to sleep
and awake with a fright
because you're not there
(love just isn't fair)

We had what we had
now it's all gone
I'm left here alone to carry on
It's a tragedy
what you've done to me

I won't live in pain
nor cry wasted tears
and I won't complain
or decry the years
that we once shared
(back when you cared)

For the moment though
I'd just like
to let
you
go

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Fishing with Poppa

You have to duck down sometimes, or the light bouncing off the water is too bright. The water is so deep and clear, I swear you can see through to tomorrow. Poppa says if a person were to go all the way through the lake there's stars on the other side. I always wondered if that's why it feels so nice and warm.
When I got here, he was waiting just like he promised. He had been so busy it just blew me away. He'd built a dock of the smoothest light wood. It still had that fresh-cut smell. It went impossibly far out on the water, the supports must run very deep. Down both sides every few yards he'd placed benches formed from sturdy old pine boughes. They looked ever so wonderful and comfy.
Floating tied to one side was a beautiful wooden boat, just big enough for two people. He'd also made this one himself, there was no mistaking the skill with which it had been created. I had to giggle aloud when I saw the name on the side, Porpoise.
That was our joke. One time at the beach he asked me, "What did the shark say when when a dolphin bumped into him?"
"What Poppa?" I asked.
"You did that on porpoise!" he said with a rolling laugh and a slap of his belly.
The things we did, always made my life seem so special. How I love my Poppa. I wanted to take off running when he came walking down the hill. I hadn't seen him in so long. He waved with a big old grin on his face, motioning me towards the dock.
"They're practically begging to be caught today" he laughed, waiting to greet me with a huge hug. "You're looking good Michael, you grew up so much".
"Gosh it's good to see you Poppa, I really missed you" I said.
"Well we're together now" he said with a big welcoming smile. "We'll be together forever".
"Just like you promised Poppa" I laughed.
"Just like I promised" he echoed.
We strode the magnificent dock all the way to the end. The water was close enough to dip in our toes. It was so warm and clear. We cast our lines far into it's depthes, shoulder to shoulder, Poppa and me. The fish were certainly biting, and we laughed and smiled in the glorious summer sun.
"Poppa" I said "this is the most beautiful place I've ever been". "You built all this yourself, it's incredible".
"No Michael, I didn't build it by myself" he said "you helped me sand every board, drive every nail, to apply every single coat of paint." "I love you so much, I wanted it to be just right when you got here".
"But Poppa" I had to ask" how could you be certain that I was going to Heaven too?".

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Enough


Beyond the beautiful

spirit that you are

lie the lines in the heavens

that lead to afar




To the place that the first

light of hope rose and grew

into the promise of love

that led me to you




It's not enough to hope you are loved

It's not enough to dream

It's not enough

It's not




Beyond the moment

you think has arrived

remember those moments

of love in your life



The times you forgot

the world sometimes hurts

instead knew together

you'd handle the worst



It's not enough to remember love

It's not enough

It's not




Beyond forever

I'll never let go

to the piece of the heart

that calls your love home



I'll wrap it memories

of gentle silk bliss

like the lingering taste

of our very last kiss



It's just not enough

It's not




Beyond the beautiful

spirit that you are

lie the lines in the heavens

that lead to afar



To the place that the first

light of hope rose and grew

into the promise of love

that led me to you

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Memory's Chains

I caught a ribbon of sunshine
tied it in your hair
your radiance
just stole it's glow

Begged a rainbow
drape you in her coat
Life was then for us
so full of hope

Prayed an angel
hold you safe from harm
Paid the Devil
just to keep you warm

Walked a thousand miles,
crossed the deepest sea
Hoping you'd say yes
to eternity

Now I stand here
in the fading light
Of our best days
turned to darkest night

In the moon's glow
I cling to the past
So many memories
too good to last

Yet when I think of you
I just can't let go
In case you're wondering
I still love you so

When you think of us
don't dwell in the dark
Find that special place
where we're not apart

Grab a ribbon of sunshine
tie it in your hair
Remember a young man
who's still smiling there

Hope in the air
heart on his sleeve
One who implored you
down on his knees

"Will you marry me?"

Then ask yourself
"Am I truly free?"

Can you ever be?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Between the Lines

I tried to write you

a poem of love

would you welcome it

I don't really know

should you refuse it

honestly, I think no



I feel this love

I'm sure it's for you

though it's been decided

our time is through

a choice not made by me

simply by you, only you



I wanted to write you

the depth of my feelings

show how lost I'd become

without the beautiful wonder

of you breathing next to me



My pen betrays me again

sneaking off into sadness

scribbling "I miss you"

while I ponder love

in the memory of us



I wanted to write you

a poem of love

It's here somewhere

between the lines

Can you see it?

I still do

Friday, March 5, 2010

Internet=Fail

Sorry I seem to have abandoned my blog. Far from it. I just don't have internet at home right now, and don't feel comfortable doing this from work.
Stay tuned..........I'll be back.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fool Me Twice


Ignoring misery's toll
took another chance
placed a wounded soul
in precarious circumstance

Azure eyes of magic
her smile entrapped his soul
the outcome once more,tragic
his life so close, to whole

Committed for a lifetime
sealed it with his ring
left aching for the right sign
she wasn't everything

Hand strays to the hollow
she once occupied
with many days to follow
seeking reasons why

One true love's denial
all alone again
weeping all the while
shattered heart in chains

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Step Off




Hollow chasm beckons
chill hands of wind
serve emptiness second
Loss
always first to feed

Another somber step
a leap
embracing never
Forever
long gone
Now
hazy mist of regret
floats
on wings of pain

Echoing in the void
tomorrow
embraced by trembling arms
soaked
in crimson sorrow

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thursday

I posted some more poetry on The Poet Sanctuary. I found a thread on there where a lot of the other writers post their pictures. What a bunch of good looking people. So many different personalities and lifestyles as well. I was amazed to discover that a few of my favorite writers were much younger than me. They expressed themselves with depth and maturity that's sometimes hard to find in the very young.

I spent last night with my daughter. she's getting so big. She's "boy crazy" these days. She likes one boy, but another one likes her, and she's not going with either of them......yet. They have a dance at school this Friday, I'm sure the drama will progress from there.
Sadly, the dance will begin with a memorial to one of her friends, Ebony. Ebony was killed this week when she was accidentally shot by her brother, she was only 12.
Rest in peace Ebony......

My new best friend and I are talking again about tattoos. She is thinking of getting a big one up her side. It will really be beautiful if they do a good job. I have the itch for a new one too. I just can't make up my mind which one to get. Maybe a few more sit-ups and I'll get the one for my chest....more likely another for the arm though.

Well, I am at work, I should work.
I'll post my new poem later tonight, unless I get too drunk at bowling :)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Pain She Bears




Tormented by insecurity
unaware of
her angelic beauty
she sits
in silent glory
seething with
a fury

She works to
get through
every day
struggling for
the words to say
the things inside
she knows
she shouldn't hide

Share the pain
It's what she needs
Stop the tears
remove
the seeds
of doubt
that fill her
gentle
worried mind

Dreams and waking moments
often are the same
she doesn't know
what's wrong
or whom it is
to blame

A little girl
who loves her
A man,
devoted too
She's tired of
the wonder
of what she is
to do

They wrap her up
in laughter
try to touch
her soul
Still
She finds it
so hard
for her to
let it go

Trembling
as she lie down
she begins to pray

"Please God let them
both be there
when this pain
goes away."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Bring on the Rain

Walking in the darkness
housed within his heart

Speaking to his demons
as if they strode apart

Foul sorrow to the left of him
sheer heartache on the right

Both cast cruel whispers
that echo in the night

Caressing flames of anguish
lie looming in his path

Scarlet-hued reminders
of a life left in the past

Thunder's boast relentless
wild lightning flares again

Still he stumbles listless
driven by the pain

Off into the distance
tears shared with the rain

Mantra of Mourning

Fate and fortune
can turn on a dime
All you have left is
memories and time


“ I’ll say one thing
about love and life”

I still bless the day
that I met my wife

Sharing with me
the fullest of years
Complete with laughter
comfort and tears

She warmed my soul
on the coldest of days
Our love was perfect
in so many ways

Fate and fortune
can turn on a dime
All you have left is
memories and time


“I’ll say another thing
about love and life”

Not everything lovely
Turns out alright

Pain can tear through
the sweetest of dreams
Happiness is fleeting,
so eager to leave

“I’ll say this last thing
about love and life”

Neither of them exist
since I lost my wife

Fate and fortune
can turn on a dime
All you have left is
memories and time

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Limbo of Love Lost


Despondent suffering soul
sobbing in the solitude
of a house suffused with spirits

Taunting shades of a wayward life
whose stark suffering peals in a
cacophony of mocking desolation

Emptiness’ everlasting echoes
declare fate's cruel joke
perpetrated on a fool's heart

Ripped wantonly asunder
amid a perversely callous
tragedy of farewell

Suspended in time
unwilling or unable
to venture further on a
cold forsaken path

Burdened by longing
for the past

Free from hope
for the future

Friday, January 29, 2010

Uncertainty



Who's been searching
for you
my whole life?

There you were

Smoke and mirrors

Illusion

Beautiful fantasy of
a yesterday
that never was?

Fleeting glimpse of
someone

No, not you

She's with
another
man

If I only imagined
you

Why do I still
taste your kiss
seek your smile
long to hold you?

Mischevious mirage
step aside
allow the arrival
of my true love

I feel as if we've met
Have we?

No one is here
I am alone

Sometimes
I wonder

If there was never
you
there could
not have been
us

Maybe I'm not even
me

Lost at Sea


I wondered if I could
see beautiful again
in words or deed
or anything

I don't

I doubted I could
hope again
it felt like
impossibility

I gave up

I prayed
my life make
sense again
to a God
I don't believe

It doesn't

I reached
out to another
heart
to fill the void
you left

Touching nothing

I get up
and walk through
life alone
noone to call
beloved
no place
to call home

I try to
cope with all
these things
yet in the silence
lingering
is pain and anger
sorrow, hurt
an emptiness
like Hades curse

It's my fault

I had a chance
to be with you
and always thought
that I would too
but then the time came
that we failed
the ship of my dreams
up and sailed

Forever away
into the fading light
of the last happy day
I knew

Monday, January 25, 2010

Afterlife Second Chance


So when they
grow old together

Now it will be apart

So terribly sad
an ending

To so beautiful a start

They knew love
like wildfire
both touched by
the flame

None could aspire
to reach any higher
nor see their
passion tamed

They stared up
at the same stars

For a dozen years now gone

Though cold, and up
so very far

They wished on every one

Times they took together
to show their daughter love
there for her whatever
no sacrifice too much

Those stars ride
the twilight sky
That wildfire's
long burned out

Happiness became
a deep divide
Across which
a lone man shouts


"I loved you then "
"I love you now"
"We'll meet again "
"I don't know how"

"Perhaps up in the twilight sky
in heaven when our lives pass by?"

"You'll know me as an old dear friend
and one you'd care to love again"

"I'll run to you on feet of wings
forgiving all those painful things"

"To finally spend eternity
The way I'd always hoped to be"

Friday, January 22, 2010

Just a house


Sitting sobbing, sorrowfully staring
blindly woeful upon the window's
pitiful barrier to a forlorn bitter wind
quaking in abject terror of a vicious force
so ravenously hungry to sweep away
forcefully every fragile shard of a ruthlessly
shattered heart, maliciously scattering
upon the rapidly rushing river of tears
encircling a structure that was once called
Home