Not Quite Over

As I sit alone
no longer saddened
by my fate
Simply tired
drained, somber, and confused
I think of you....

All the things, we could have been
the things we both became
leave me wondering
What should I do?
I wonder....
Do you wonder too?

Helpless, hopeless
lost in doubt
hurt and still yet
healing
controlled by my own
feelings..
and yet somehow...
(I guess I'm dealing)

Talk to the stars
listen to the moon
waiting for the sign
that should come soon
so appealing
The thought of
letting you go

I hope for a goal
and pray for a sign
looking to the day
that I might find
another heart
To take your place...

Still there's the moment
deep in the night
I've just gone to sleep
and awake with a fright
because you're not there
(love just isn't fair)

We had what we had
now it's all gone
I'm left here alone to carry on
It's a tragedy
what you've done to me

I won't live in pain
nor cry wasted tears
and I won't complain
or decry the years
that we once shared
(back when you cared)

For the moment though
I'd just like
to let
you
go

Fishing with Poppa

You have to duck down sometimes, or the light bouncing off the water is too bright. The water is so deep and clear, I swear you can see through to tomorrow. Poppa says if a person were to go all the way through the lake there's stars on the other side. I always wondered if that's why it feels so nice and warm.
When I got here, he was waiting just like he promised. He had been so busy it just blew me away. He'd built a dock of the smoothest light wood. It still had that fresh-cut smell. It went impossibly far out on the water, the supports must run very deep. Down both sides every few yards he'd placed benches formed from sturdy old pine boughes. They looked ever so wonderful and comfy.
Floating tied to one side was a beautiful wooden boat, just big enough for two people. He'd also made this one himself, there was no mistaking the skill with which it had been created. I had to giggle aloud when I saw the name on the side, Porpoise.
That was our joke. One time at the beach he asked me, "What did the shark say when when a dolphin bumped into him?"
"What Poppa?" I asked.
"You did that on porpoise!" he said with a rolling laugh and a slap of his belly.
The things we did, always made my life seem so special. How I love my Poppa. I wanted to take off running when he came walking down the hill. I hadn't seen him in so long. He waved with a big old grin on his face, motioning me towards the dock.
"They're practically begging to be caught today" he laughed, waiting to greet me with a huge hug. "You're looking good Michael, you grew up so much".
"Gosh it's good to see you Poppa, I really missed you" I said.
"Well we're together now" he said with a big welcoming smile. "We'll be together forever".
"Just like you promised Poppa" I laughed.
"Just like I promised" he echoed.
We strode the magnificent dock all the way to the end. The water was close enough to dip in our toes. It was so warm and clear. We cast our lines far into it's depthes, shoulder to shoulder, Poppa and me. The fish were certainly biting, and we laughed and smiled in the glorious summer sun.
"Poppa" I said "this is the most beautiful place I've ever been". "You built all this yourself, it's incredible".
"No Michael, I didn't build it by myself" he said "you helped me sand every board, drive every nail, to apply every single coat of paint." "I love you so much, I wanted it to be just right when you got here".
"But Poppa" I had to ask" how could you be certain that I was going to Heaven too?".

Enough

Beyond the beautiful

spirit that you are

lie the lines in the heavens

that lead to afar



To the place that the first

light of hope rose and grew

into the promise of love

that led me to you



It's not enough to hope you are loved

It's not enough to dream

It's not enough

It's not



Beyond the moment

you think has arrived

remember those moments

of love in your life



The times you forgot

the world sometimes hurts

instead knew together

you'd handle the worst


It's not enough to remember love

It's not enough

It's not



Beyond forever

I'll never let go

to the piece of the heart

that calls your love home



I'll wrap it memories

of gentle silk bliss

like the lingering taste

of our very last kiss


It's just not enough

It's not



Beyond the beautiful

spirit that you are

lie the lines in the heavens

that lead to afar



To the place that the first

light of hope rose and grew

into the promise of love

that led me to you

Memory's Chains

I caught a ribbon of sunshine
tied it in your hair
your radiance
just stole it's glow

Begged a rainbow
drape you in her coat
Life was then for us
so full of hope

Prayed an angel
hold you safe from harm
Paid the Devil
just to keep you warm

Walked a thousand miles,
crossed the deepest sea
Hoping you'd say yes
to eternity

Now I stand here
in the fading light
Of our best days
turned to darkest night

In the moon's glow
I cling to the past
So many memories
too good to last

Yet when I think of you
I just can't let go
In case you're wondering
I still love you so

When you think of us
don't dwell in the dark
Find that special place
where we're not apart

Grab a ribbon of sunshine
tie it in your hair
Remember a young man
who's still smiling there

Hope in the air
heart on his sleeve
One who implored you
down on his knees

"Will you marry me?"

Then ask yourself
"Am I truly free?"

Can you ever be?