"The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you."-Anonymous

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Stars and Crickets



Fighting with the memories
living in the past
All the things I hoped to be
swept away so fast

Sitting in the cool night air
relaxing in the breeze
alone upon the fresh cut grass
beneath a somber tree

Lift a flower to the wind
one petal at a time
dealing with the mystery
why love can be so blind

So many stars and crickets
singing out to me
one sings songs of wisdom
the other, possibility

Time to lead the evil glow
away from this poor heart
be the man I used to know
before it fell apart

I'm done with the whispers
that tell me I am through
Forever I will miss her
sometimes, she'll miss me too

Today can't be forever
tomorrow will end soon
I won't be trapped in misery
I've way too much to do

So many stars and crickets
singing out to me
one sings songs of wisdom
the other, possibility

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MINE

Simple sounds resounding
echoes in a broken chamber
former lovers all but strangers

Passing in the light

Horror of tomorrow’s
hopes fading in the depths
of sorrow

Slipping from my sight

Simple smiles so reviled
while fortune claims her pound of flesh
Melancholy feeds at will
with a savage baited breath
frustration’s flight in shades of red
though surely wounded

I am not dead

She's failed to win

In a shattered vessel
who’s seen much better times

Despair dares to wail at me
assault me with her crimes

She can never take my love
for it is all that’s ever truly
Mine
.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Not Quite Over

As I sit alone
no longer saddened
by my fate
Simply tired
drained, somber, and confused
I think of you....

All the things, we could have been
the things we both became
leave me wondering
What should I do?
I wonder....
Do you wonder too?

Helpless, hopeless
lost in doubt
hurt and still yet
healing
controlled by my own
feelings..
and yet somehow...
(I guess I'm dealing)

Talk to the stars
listen to the moon
waiting for the sign
that should come soon
so appealing
The thought of
letting you go


I hope for a goal
and pray for a sign
looking to the day
that I might find
another heart
To take your place...

Still there's the moment
deep in the night
I've just gone to sleep
and awake with a fright
because you're not there
(love just isn't fair)

We had what we had
now it's all gone
I'm left here alone to carry on
It's a tragedy
what you've done to me

I won't live in pain
nor cry wasted tears
and I won't complain
or decry the years
that we once shared
(back when you cared)

For the moment though
I'd just like
to let
you
go

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Fishing with Poppa

You have to duck down sometimes, or the light bouncing off the water is too bright. The water is so deep and clear, I swear you can see through to tomorrow. Poppa says if a person were to go all the way through the lake there's stars on the other side. I always wondered if that's why it feels so nice and warm.
When I got here, he was waiting just like he promised. He had been so busy it just blew me away. He'd built a dock of the smoothest light wood. It still had that fresh-cut smell. It went impossibly far out on the water, the supports must run very deep. Down both sides every few yards he'd placed benches formed from sturdy old pine boughes. They looked ever so wonderful and comfy.
Floating tied to one side was a beautiful wooden boat, just big enough for two people. He'd also made this one himself, there was no mistaking the skill with which it had been created. I had to giggle aloud when I saw the name on the side, Porpoise.
That was our joke. One time at the beach he asked me, "What did the shark say when when a dolphin bumped into him?"
"What Poppa?" I asked.
"You did that on porpoise!" he said with a rolling laugh and a slap of his belly.
The things we did, always made my life seem so special. How I love my Poppa. I wanted to take off running when he came walking down the hill. I hadn't seen him in so long. He waved with a big old grin on his face, motioning me towards the dock.
"They're practically begging to be caught today" he laughed, waiting to greet me with a huge hug. "You're looking good Michael, you grew up so much".
"Gosh it's good to see you Poppa, I really missed you" I said.
"Well we're together now" he said with a big welcoming smile. "We'll be together forever".
"Just like you promised Poppa" I laughed.
"Just like I promised" he echoed.
We strode the magnificent dock all the way to the end. The water was close enough to dip in our toes. It was so warm and clear. We cast our lines far into it's depthes, shoulder to shoulder, Poppa and me. The fish were certainly biting, and we laughed and smiled in the glorious summer sun.
"Poppa" I said "this is the most beautiful place I've ever been". "You built all this yourself, it's incredible".
"No Michael, I didn't build it by myself" he said "you helped me sand every board, drive every nail, to apply every single coat of paint." "I love you so much, I wanted it to be just right when you got here".
"But Poppa" I had to ask" how could you be certain that I was going to Heaven too?".